Oh bother I need that double-ended tickler

Following a spiritual morning's yoga with Carolyn and the geriatrics I popped over to Stevie's to admire his new smuggled-in art from Bulgaria and Romania. He wanted my advice on where he could hang them - "not in this apartment" was my blunt answer; "hurry up and buy a big apartment so you can hang all this stuff" I blathered on.

We were supposed to go for Dim Sum. I can't say I've ever had a craving for pork buns or any kind of buns - Chinese food especially in harsh fluro light looks pasty. Unless it's Mr Chows and I've had one too many Mai Tai's it just won't do.

Instead of Dim Sum I wangled burgers at Ruby's. Stevie to his darling credit was easy to wangle. He'd never had a true Aussie burger. I think it's smashing when a fried egg, pineapple and beetroot bring a grin. Post-burger he was a happy boy.

We wandered around Nolita and the Lower East Side. We picked up some social commentary tees including a "Fuck Yoga" tee for me. It was a gorgeous afternoon so we decided to go to Kiki de Montparnasse and chase each other around the store with crops and ticklers. Trying on all the bits and pieces was fun and also sucky.

Stevie and I "dated" in that horrible American fashion last year for a few months and again this Summer for a few weeks. We both came to the conclusion that after several less-than stellar naked moments and aborted naughtiness we are just better off as friends. Hence stripping off in front of each other is nothing and honest advice expected - including lingerie and what looks hot or not - as Paris would say.

I came away empty-handed. The low cowl-neck sweater dress looked sexy on the hanger - not on me and the ribbon lace-up stilettos looked great on the wall and again not-so-great on me. Although skinny jeans seem to be a good basic the clothes in this store were definitely not enhanced by the Rock and Republics.

As Stevie tied the black lace eyemask behind my head and whispered naughty things my thoughts slid to Teddy Bear. I wonder if I start having sex with him could I then expect him to pick up the lilac bra and matching bow knickers and of course that mask. They were gorgeous beyond. Ribbons on the sides of the knickers for easy stripping; and I just loved that double-ended tickler.

Teddy Bear and when did I last shower

I have done absolutely fuck all today.

Can't remember when or where I last showered either. Working backwards I know I haven't showered today....far to busy doing nothing. Can't recall if I showered at the gym last night following a Chardonnay-fuelled work out. Sandrella and I had had a fabulous Balthazar Chardonnay lunch. I'd also fasted all morning - no breakfast which kills me. I'd been at the doctor's all morning having my fingers pricked. Yay, I don't have diabetes or pre-diabetes.

Back to the shower issue. I must have showered on Thursday surely - it was Thanksgiving after all....maybe at the gym? The last shower I clearly remember is Wednesday after my horrendous hangover from Tuesday night. I remember because I had to wash my filthy hair.

TODAY'S ACTIVITIES
a. Woke up far too early at Teddy Bear's (stayed over for the first time - no shagging - it's my new rule). Teddy Bear claims he lives in Soho. I say Teddy Bear lives in the middle of the Afganistani rebuilding initiative.

b. The combination of the noise and the light - Teddy Bear has no curtains and his apartment faces south. I needed my eye mask (at home - sleepover was not planned) and earplugs (retired years ago but need new ones if sleeping at Teddy Bear's is going to become a regular event).

c. Finally got in a taxi wearing obvious night-on-the-town clothes at midday. This is the taxi of shame.

d. Things I've now learned and can grade Teddy Bear for: on a scale of 1 - 10.

1. Great kisser - didn't have to give the "7 year old" lesson. 9/10.

2. Hairy - he has a high testosterone level - does that mean lots of sex or begging for sex - would love the begging even more? He asked me if he was the hairiest guy I'd been with - probably the hairiest - full carpet on the back as well as front. He confessed to waxing "when I go to Cannes"....all those bare Euros I guess make him self-conscious. 10/10 - it's dead sexy what can I say.

3. Jack Nickelson killed his aunt's parrot in the 70's - coked up to his eyeballs he knocked over the cage and squashed the poor blighter. 8/10 - he told it in a very funny manner bless him.

4. Very affectionate without me cringing. 9/10.

I think I really want to have sex with this one soon. But, for now I've going to shower and get out the rabbit.