Sex Texting

Something is seriously wrong with me. I'm acquiring v male character traits ie/ I'm looking/assessing every man I come into contact with, questioning "could I fuck them?". Reached a particularly low point today over brunch with one of best-friend's friend-with-benefits. Decided that no I could not fuck him; he bobs his head too much in conversation; can only imagine what sexual jigging would do. Was so dizzy trying to keep eye contact with a head that was like a pogo-stick that I couldn't eat my eggs.

Wondering also how low my moral ground has sunk. Have spent past 10 days either ignoring or making up quick responses to Mafiosi Toy-boy's sex texting. Terrible: last night as I was trying to climb into bed, slightly tipsy, well v tipsy MTB was sending me rapid-fire sex texts about how hot I was, what he would like to do to me, and how I was responding. My reaction: I encouraged the poor sod, by claiming I was masturbating whilst still wearing my cowboy boots but nothing else. Reality: eye mask on, and settling into perfectly cosy sleeping position. Followed up with further deception this morning with text claiming I woke up wet thinking of him, and had to help myself before breakfast. Perhaps all this really means is that I should get a job in the porn industry - script writing. Going straight to Craigslist.