Obsessed Property Purchaser Who Fancies Herself As Developer

Attacking the London property market with gusto has certainly been eye-opening. Racking up an impressive sixty-odd viewed properties I've definitely got a feel for the market. And the feeling is not good. Too many buildings with great bones have been laid to waste by developers with adopted taste from an Ikea catalogue. Not that there's anything wrong with plain vanilla Scandiness. It's just not want I want when spending close to a million of Keeper's pounds. Traipsing over pale blonde wood floors and marveling (not) at the fitted granite kitchen units.

Seriously fancy myself as a developer material. Tackling a derelict house, Georgian period perhaps and contemporise sympathetically - historic features noted. God I'm beginning to see not having a job leads to delusions on a grand scale. Next I'll be considering running for local mayor.

So, raised the idea of my property development aspirations at dinner last night and I do believe the Keeper inhaled his martini in one in-breath, swallowing the extra olives all at once. I guess I should take that as an indication of his lack on belief in the Keepee's architect slash interior designer slash building site managerial potential . I think my girlfriend, Gweebeart, also dining with us, thought it was great idea, although I can't always be sure as she has a lazy eye which can't express the same degree of enthusiasm as the other.

Seriously, though there is a lot of crap out there. I've only seen two properties I feel I'd want to buy. One, very cool converted printing house from the 1930's with printing paraphernalia still hanging from ceilings. Unfortunately it's not in the most pucker part of London, thus nixed by Keeper. He only had eyes for the council housing estate and the likes that mill about outside them i/e youths under 18, scowling and dressed in baggy tracky bottoms and hoodies pulled tight so that only lips and tip of nose is visible.

More promising is the traditional maisonette we are viewing for second time tomorrow. Should appeal to Keeper as it has all the attributes he desires - three bedrooms, separate sitting room, separate dining room (for all those local council meetings I could host). Biggest bonus is an unparalleled view of Primrose Hill - not a single council estate brick insight.

My only concern is the decor. Hopefully the Keeper will be able to look beyond the 1980's Playboy theme the place purports now. The current owner - Playboy lives in Miami and it was his when-in-London chick-pulling pad. Clearly he upset someone in the family as they have now taken it away from Playboy and want to sell it off. I wonder if the all-black tiled bathrooms and mirrored ceilings throughout bathrooms and bedrooms will put Keeper off?